"I'm just sitting in my car... waiting for my girl" - System of a Down
It turns out I developed Hepatitis A. the symptoms I was exhibiting were what we commonly call prodromal symptoms, that vague annoying headache/fever/ache/nausea etc...
By far the worst thing was the nausea, food was intolerable. Further, my own clean smell after a shower, would seem like the most nauseating scent ever, the bed sheets were made of cotton shit.
I spent a few days trying to get up doing anything worth while on my trip, by the time I got back to Jeddah things were so messed up, jaundice developed and showed in my eyes and urine. I was admitted for a few nights.
Usually Hep A does not require admission, but I was dehydrated and I guess they wanted to get me back to eating food again.
Just had my Surgery End of Posting Exam a few days ago, things are back to normal. I found the last piece I wrote laying on my desktop, going through it I can see where the ideas were coming from: I've been reading a book called "Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance" on and off for about a year now, it's a book that covers many philosophical concepts in a very indirect manner, unlike the book Sophie's World, where the story seems to be giving you not only a philosophy lecture, but a brief history of philosophy as well where credit is given where its due.
Let me go back to what I wrote and reflect upon it.
In regards to the initial step, the metaphor i used was the "brick". any concept in its enormity is a grand tower, when you look at it in its entirety it is overwhelming, but look closer, look at it as the coarse texture of the walls nearly touch your face, you find that it is made of nothing more than a series of bricks. this is the fundamental first step, from here everything is "bite-size" it can be digested and thought about, and once thoroughly understood, the next "bite" can be taken.
The brick itself can be further divided to it's fundamentals. Humans use experience to divide and subdivide, the memory we keep through our senses is the katana that severs and divides. The coarse nature and the color of a brick maybe reminiscent of sand, or whatever material the brick is made of. This concept of breaking down and separating, then categorizing is Aristotle's greatest contribution to mankind. Western Philosophy calls this concept "Scientific Thinking" many people confuse it with logic, where logic is used in the proper creation of a hierarchy of categories, it is not itself logic. the most famous example is the animal kingdom and how it is divided and then further subdivided. in the modern age, the atom has been the subject of this concept. there was a time when many considered the electron, proton and neutron the fundamental constituents of an atom, today we know that the proton and neutron can be broken down to even smaller constituents namely quarks, that may or may not be the fundamental constituents.
It's hard not use past experiences to assess current situations, but it is sometimes essential to forget anything you have ever learnt or experienced to gain that different prospective, instead of waiting for the other opinion, you become capable of creating multiple hypotheses and choose the one you find the most appealing.
My Mac's Dictionary defines Quality as:
1 the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something : an improvement in product quality | people today enjoy a better quality of life.
• general excellence of standard or level : a masterpiece for connoisseurs of quality | [as adj. ] a wide choice of quality beers.
This proves what I as blabbering about! Quality has no definition! It cannot be measured as such! It is not a variable... this definition is very subjective! And I refuse to believe that.
I have always had a fascination for the concept of beauty, why is it that I may find something beautiful whereas my peer may find it unattractive, and why is it that there is a pattern in nature that is so faithfully reproduced by flora and fauna?
I may go into this again later, but what I reached was that although beauty is a subjective matter of "taste" and taste maybe a product of one's culture and society, and even one's own genetics, beauty can be measured! The mathematical phenomena known as the Golden Mean is repeated through out what many call beautiful, even if some disagree on what is beautiful... hence the concept itself retains its subjectivity.
The study of beauty and quality has a name in philosophy.
The definition may be there.
I think i've started to create a certain modality or methodology to aide my current frail thought process.
I shall apply a duality of thought to all my reflections, the solid scientific or "classical" way of thought and that of the so-called "romantic" the subjective side of things.
Therefor quality must be subjective when comparing concepts of the same conception, where as it becomes scientific when speaking of it in seclusion. i do not have the means nor the intellect to find the mathematical equivalent of Quality, that measure that will forever quantify Quality and give it a unit. it may have been found, or maybe someone is searching for it as we speak. it is that mathematical variable that will define quality for me.
You maybe asking yourself how I reached such an absurd idea. Other than the books i read, i've always enjoyed my music, and I'd like to think that most of my collection is "Quality" music. but what is good music? what makes a song a hit (its Quality?) weather or not it passes the test of time (Longevity, a quality in itself) or something else. i find it very funny how many of my friends shout at me to change the music (I'm usually the resident Dj it seems at our little gatherings) even though the music I'm playing would be by the greatest names in the music industry! forget the labels and charts, I'm talking musician's music, and it would be chosen to reflect the mood of the gathering, chill out and all! yet they fail to comprehend the beauty of it, ask to hear something else, usually arabic (is it the cultural effect on subjectivity?). Bear in mind, that once arabic music is played, they demand the very best!
Hence, most individuals have a "sense" for quality.
It never fails to get me thinking... i've had this title for a piece I would love to write, i've been thinking about it for the past 3 years:
The Architecture of Musical Excellence.
I love Mozart and Pachelbel, I love Oum Kalthoum and Talal Maddah. I don't mind the occasional Pop; and Nine Inch Nails is my auditory orgasm. I can have it any time of the day... just like sushi!
I may have found the tools that would let me write this little essay on the auditory stimulation most of the world enjoys. It perplexes me that there are those who may voluntarily put them selves in a state of auditory celibacy... one day i'll write it, maybe by then I would figured it all out.
Remember kids.... Let your Prometheus unbound!